Answering 'How are you?'

I wish I was better at keeping this blog updated. Wish I was better at staying in touch with you all more. I know I used to be. But I've been staring at my screen for about an hour now, trying to find the words for a new blogpost.

I guess the best way to start is answering the question of 'How are you?'. That quintessential question everyone always asks when they haven't seen or talked to someone in a while. Or - if you live in Australia - the question that is part of almost every greeting, friend or stranger ;)

So my Australia stranger answer would be that instant say-it-without-a-second-thought reply of 'I'm fine thanks, how are you?'. My real answer however - the one I'd give to friends - is currently more complicated. The 'I'm fine' bit would still be true, but at the same time it's been a strange couple of weeks full of mixed emotions. Full of family too. The end of August for example saw the first wedding in the family on my father's side with my cousin Elisa getting married. As it was held in/near Maastricht, which is in the deep south of The Netherlands, we made a weekend of it. Three holiday appartments in a row were invaded by a sizeable part of the Stroet clan (read: a total of 19 people, excluding the family of the bride), as was the party for the wedding on the Saturday night. It was a lovely weekend away in the beautiful green and 'mountainous' south, celebrating the wedding, celebrating love and celebrating family. Good times were had!

The end of September saw a whole different kind of family event on my mother's side of the family however. An event on the complete other end of the emotional spectrum too. On 25 September, my aunt died of cancer. And although her death didn't come completely unexpected, it happened faster than anyone had hoped and at age 64 it was still way too soon. Her memorial service and cremation was last week and I think it was a service she would have been proud of. The stories told highlighted the fierceness in her character, her determination and the way she always tried to add colour to her life, even in darker times. Definitely ways in which I'll remember her too. It was sad but beautiful.

To me, being at her funeral also felt like the wrong kind of deja vu though. Only four months after the last one, it was not just emotional for the loss of my aunt, but also for the fact we were all together again as a family for yet another final goodbye. We had all barely had time to fully get our heads around the death of my uncle, and already there we were again, standing around yet another casket, bringing another member of our family to their final resting place. Yet another family member missing. Yet another empty seat at the next family gathering...

So when you ask me 'How are you?' and I answer 'I'm fine', I guess what I'm really saying is that I really am fine and there's plenty of good things happening in my life right now, but at the same time it's also been an emotional and tiring couple of weeks that I'm still trying to process and get my head around, leaving me with the occasional 'I-need-a-hug' kind of days. And that I'm fine with being fine that way for now =)

I suppose the only way I can end this blog now is with that one quintessential question everyone asks when they haven't seen someone for a while: How are you? Please know I always love hearing the answer to that question from all of you too, so feel free to leave me a message. Either way, I hope you're all well.
Much love.