*It was always simple*

They say you can never come home from this. And it’s true. You can’t. Not quite. Talk to any exchange student, and they’ll probably tell you just that. Things change when you go. Things change even more when you come back. You know what, it’s been almost two years since I left, and sometimes it still feels like yesterday. This day two years ago, I was on tour through Australia with 41 other exchange students and I was snorkelling at the Great Barrier Reef. On the same night, I tripped over and landed with my elbow right on the sharp point of a cement tile. I couldn’t bend my arm for days and I still carry the scars. I sang Dutch songs with Marianne, the girl I shared my tent with, in the middle of that night. Just to make sure she wouldn’t go to sleep for 2 hours and feel crap, coz she was so drunk. She said so every second sentence, haha. Memories just take over some times… Life’s been keeping me really busy lately, and I’m so tired. I get into contemplative moods when I’m really tired :) Either that, or I get the giggles, haha. But tonight it’s contemplative, and that’s when I write these kinds of things.

I can’t believe that this time next year, I’ll be living in Australia again. The scholarship has kept me on a cloud for weeks, but it’s wearing off now. It has sunk in, but it doesn’t seem real. Yet it scares me at the same time. Coz it took me a long time to completely find my balance again after my exchange year. I really missed a sense of truly belonging, of fitting in, with people as well as with places. I missed the homes that weren’t mine anymore, but I hadn’t had enough time to make Utrecht my home yet. But I think I’ve found it. A few months ago I realised I’m so happy with where I am in my life right now and the things I am doing. Friends, family, uni… It seems like everything has finally fallen into place again. Then why go to Adelaide and mess it up again? I was thinking the other day that I’m actually not even really the type to go on exchange, haha. I can be terribly shy and even though I love a challenge, I’m can be pretty overwhelmed and intimidated by it as well and hold back. But I wouldn’t have wanted to miss my exchange for the world. The awesome people I got to meet, the beautiful places I got to see, the millions of things I got to learn… I sometimes wonder where I’d be without those people and without that experience. So I’m going to Adelaide. Coz I’ll make myself the type :) And because being with you all on my exchange gave me the confidence I can do it and the chance to see how amazing it can be. I love you all for that. And for other things too :) Hope you’re all happy, healthy and smiling through life.
Love Carine